Your birthday packages - absolutely worth battling corruption for!



This shelf has never been so stocked - I'm eating like a queen!

A huge

THANK YOU

to everyone who made the effort to get a box of goodies packed and out the door for my 25th birthday - I know care packages do not throw themselves together, and I am truly overwhelmed with the incredibly generous response to my request for mental health boosters. The time and care that clearly went into putting the packages together is so touching - you have definitely taken the edge off "going without"...who knew what some Annies mac and cheese or scented lotion or nice tea could do for my day!

I have all the bath necessities to keep me (starting out) clean and sweet-smelling for months, enough chocolate to derail my bridesmaid slim-down plan (I've had to put a picture of the dress as my desktop background to keep me on track, but Ohhh is it worth it : ), Peeps and decorations for Halloween, momentos from my best friend since childhood's recent wedding (congrats Anna!!), cereal, tupperwear, peanut butter, tea, hair clips, lots of canned tuna, nuts, brown rice, lentils, bed sheets, notecards, fun jewelry... even pressed fall-colored leaves to bring a sense of seasons to the tropics.

Anna wins the prize for the lowest claimed total value of contents ("$3" - nice work!) and Mrs. Corey wins the prize for getting the most packed into a standard sized box (she's a dedicated care package sender with lots of practice!) I was stunned to get a boxful of love from a friend from grad school I'd lost touch with, as well as from my dear high school advisor - wow, you all know how to make a girl feel special! Every box was delightful and is being cherished (though that's a delicate-sounding word for how fiercely I tore through the packaging - luckily this time I was the first to get to the goods, no rodent-ravaged snacks)

And while I know it was an effort to get those presents off to me, they did not just fall into my lap once they crossed the Atlantic...three of them (totally random, not based on contents or anything else in your control) were slapped with a $50 "customs" fee, above the fee I already pay to pick up packages. $50 (25,000 francs)  is a LOT here (you can get a plate of food for 20 cents), and is a large chunk of my monthly stipend, so X3 was just out of the question...but so was relinquishing your lovingly prepared boxes.

The fee is totally bogus too - no explanation, no papers, no regulation anyone could quote...nor would they offer me ANY address, phone number or name of whom I could contact to find out more. Just a huge sum on my pick-up slip, and after that, nothing but dead ends in trying to get to the bottom of it...the director of the post office told me I should go to the seaside port myself where the fee had supposedly been applied and "see if someone there wanted to listed to me"...gee, THANKS. Until, after pleading and crying and yelling and stomping and cursing in  the post office lobby did nothing but negate all my efforts thus far to come off as a classy and well-adpated American,  I spent two weeks working with Peace Corps security officials and getting in touch with and finally meeting the top government authority of this region. I brought him an official document stating that Peace Corps is exempt from customs fees (a nice way of saying workers' trying to make a buck or 50 under the table won't fly here), and he proceeded to give the local post office a solid shake-down much more effective than my whining -  I had my packages within the hour!! Hooray - one small step in the fight against corruption, one giant leap for my sense of accomplishment. And of course it made all the treats inside that much sweeter.

 Before he took action, the government official (called the "prefet") asked if I was a Christian and believed in God. I smiled - no matter how inappropriate this seems to me, I've got this routine down, and was not going to let my feelings about separation of church and state get between me and weeks of eating well. He gave me a Bible and a booklet he wrote about the experience that brought him to God years ago - angry townspeople apparently burned his house to the ground, killing a child of his that was inside. I am supposed to read it and give him my thoughts on Jesus and salvation at our next meeting. My thank-you gift of tupperwear and some fruit was notably less heavy.

My actual birthday was a lot of fun - I had a little party of volunteers and Cameroonian friends (low-key since the presidential elections had been a few days before and no one was supposed to travel far in case the results sparked any issues, which luckily they didn't). I made my specialty here (my dad's specialty, really) - pancakes, which I serve with jam and yogurt - a big hit! We also made a huge bowl of guacamole, and had fruit salad, fresh fruit juice and cookies. I planned to make an actual cake, but the city was quite literally out of flour. I got lots of nice calls from friends here (Cameroonians are great at thinking of others like that) and from home - my whole immediate family got on the same line from three different locations and sang happy birthday in unison - unforgettable!

I had the Cameroonians laughing at my stories of being a naive newbie a year ago...ex. the first time I rode a motorcycle taxi, I threw my arms around the driver's waist as he tore off down the road...isn't that what you do when you ride a motorcycle? Turns out that's a clear local signal for wanting to "take him home", and when we arrived to my village homestay house and he tried to follow me inside, assuring me it was no problem if my host parents were there, the conversation was awkward at best. I had no idea what mixed signals I was giving him - poor guy!

25 feels pretty great so far - making mistakes, making progress, making a dream come true by being here,  all the while held up by loving friends and family - I'm a lucky lady!
Thanks again from the bottom of my heart for the support you all show me in all your ways <3

Birthday Wishlist! If you ever eventually wanted to send me a care package or have asked me what I want, here you go : )

It's shameless and maybe out of line to come out and tell you what I want for my birthday (October 13th), but getting insults to the French and marriage proposals alike barked at me from roadside bars where men have been drinking since dawn has started to wear down my recollection of what is appropriate when...so excusez-moi.

And your birthday only comes once a year, so since I have the added excuses of it being my 25th birthday AND being in Africa where pulling into a CVS is but a fuzzy fantasy, I've gotta make the most of it. For those of you wanting to shower me with love, please know that the bar for what makes me giddy like a 5-year-old at Christmas, like my standards in nearly all areas, has plummeted to unrecognizable lows since being on this planet. I mean continent...wow, really just wrote that.

So, while I have let myself go wild with this list, putting just a couple of these things in a $13 flat rate envelope will make my month, and if past experience is an indicator, I will squeal like a puppy upon seeing even a pack of M&Ms. Heck, I'm not sure my heartrate will be able to handle the shock if I actually see all these things too close together, so please, against your better judgement, control thyself when purchasing.

"A happy volunteer is a productive volunteer", so don't hesitate to consider your boost to my mental sanity a contribution to the promotion of peace and development in my tiny corner of the world. Your encouragement will keep me motivated to share many things with Cameroonians - the advantages of exclusive breastfeeding and birth spacing, the important elements of a balanced diet and a recipe for making preteinlicious tofu, songs, card tricks...but peanut butter, mac and cheese, nice chocolate, these things will be MINE, all mine. Cameroonians don't have a track record of loving our food, so when we try to share they end up forcing down food they don't enjoy, and we end up losing our precious hard-to-come-by ingredients and resenting that anyone would not enjoy something so obviously delicious.

Did I tell you about the time I made Jello for my neighbor kids and they ran around saying they were going to vomit? Another volunteer had a more polite, grown friend try a dinner dish, and even he asked "umm...do you have any salt? ...do you have any...oil?" But I already know what I love, so there is no such risk of disappointment or anticlimax involved. Just the opposite -- I actually scissored in half the first jar of peanut butter I got here just to make sure I could swipe every.last.morsel from the bottom with my finger.  So:

Toiletries: Shampoo; body wash; deoderant; nice smelling lotions or sprays - (believe me, I'm not picky on what scent!); Q-tips; toothpaste; razors; toothbrushes; Aveeno "Positively Radiant" face lotion, make-up removing face cleansing wipes, little grabby hair clips (you know the kind I wear, if you don't, skip this one : )  

Condiments: Soy sauce; balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing; any salad dressing packets; natural peanut butter; taco/fajita meat seasoning packets; instant soup packets; curry powder (red or yellow); brown sugar; honey; no-calorie sweetener (preferably the natural kind, like Stevia) 

Food: Canned tuna fish or chicken - oh protein, how I miss thee; Luna bars (especially Cherry Pie flavor) or Clif Bars (any peanut related flavor); milk-chocolate covered pretzels (like Flipz ); boxed maceroni and cheese (oooh, Annie's brand please!); parmesan cheese; dried lentils; brown rice; granola; any not-super-sweet cereal like honey roasted shredded wheat (take it out of the cardboard box!); nuts, other than peanuts; dried fruit, preferably unsweetened; gummy fruit snacks; tea- anything but Lipton black which I can find here (caffeinated or herbal, loose or bagged is all fine); emergen-c vitamin c packets 

Life bits and pieces: Cheap fun jewelry (earrings and necklackes - women love to get dressed up here and I got nothin'); leggings or thick tights to wear under dresses so I don't flash people climbing onto motorcycles - large size, especially black/brown/navy; stand-on-their-own candles, especially scented; fun headbands (cloth or plastic - trying to find cute ways to ward off motorcycle helmet hair); sturdy scrubby (mettalic) dish cleaning "sponge"; American stamps for sending letters back to you with travelling volunteers/Embassy officials; any size tupperwear containers with lids; large Zip-lock bags (the ultimate ant/roach/mouse protection for food); Clorox wipes; non-stick cooking spray; heavy duty drain de-clogger; Tylenol multi-symptom liquid cold medicine, (orange liquid in clear bottle); J Crew/Banana Republic or similar catalogues that have basic women's dresses - we show the pictures to tailors here when getting dresses sewn - its fun!

A few notes on sending:

1) Take items out of bulky packaging, and don't feel the need to add lots of extra padding. The boxes actually don't get too beat up, so no need to pay for a bigger box than the bare contents require.

2) Get flat rate boxes - USPS has a small, medium and large size, the biggest being around $58 last time I knew. Ask for these and avoid paying too much!

3) That's Sister Tess to you. Have fun with drawing crosses on the box and busting out those Bible verses you had to memorize in Sunday School. Try and get comfortable considering snacks and toiletries as "religious materials" when declaring contents. I mean, I find God in food, and will swear I'm in Heaven when I get your package, so it's not that much of a stretch. And for the total value of the contents, think: Limbo - How low can you go?

4) My address is still the same: Tess Marstaller, Peace Corps Volunteer, BP 15, Nkongsamba Cameroun (the French use a "u" instead of the 2 Anglophone "oo"s. Packages generally take 2-3 weeks to get here, but don't worry about the timing one bit.

THANK YOU! The Peace Corps has just told us we are not allowed to leave our posts for three weeks in October because of the upcoming Cameroonian elections and wanting to play it safe should tensions arise (though no one is expecting people to get rowdy, the outcome is already anticipated and generally accepted). That means that I'll be staying close to home come the 13th, so if I can't have friends and loved ones around, hearing from you will be all the more special.

Also, wacky seasons, time warpage and general disconnect mean I frequently have to stop and figure out what month it is (and when talks about preventing cholera or not blaming infant deaths on sorcery get interrupted by Justin Bieber cellphone ringtones, I often have to wonder what year it is too...). Point being, whether it's for my birthday, Christmas, or Easter, I will appreciate any displays of affection, anytime, however modest (remember, I freaked out that a store in my new town sells Tic Tacs). I love letters too and would be thrilled to have an update from any of you!

Thanks again for helping me get to the 1 year mark, I know the next year is going to fly!

Celebrating ONE YEAR in Cameroon

Yesterday marked my one year anniversary of arriving to Cameroon as a Peace Corps volunteer! Feels pretty. darn. great. I finished off year one with an incredible jungle hike to some remote water falls, led by a local villager and accompanied by a Cameroonian friend who took all the pictures. It was an awesome adventure and definitely one of those "This is not some fake amusement park Africa. I am really here!" moments : ) More about the difference that a year has made (so big its hard to wrap my head around) coming up, but for now, THANKS for all the support you show through reading the blog, writing emails, sending goodies and letters, dropping facebook messages - no show of encouragement goes unnoticed, they truly keep me going and mean a ton. So don't think I don't need them now that I'm a slightly more seasoned volunteer - the rollercoaster ups and downs never slow down. But thanks to my recent move and all the good energy resulting from those changes, I'm feeling the best I have since I got here and I can't wait for year 2.

Please note the Cameroon-shaped earrings! Wearing my pride.

Big News - I'm Moving!

That’s right – the moving truck, ie. the only 4 wheeled vehicle in the region I could convince to schlep me and my load down the treacherous, rain-devastated road out of here, picked me up a week ago. The two married volunteers posted in my nearest small city, Nkongsamba, have to head back to the States earlier than expected, leaving a hole in a key headquarter spot for our region, and throwing open an awesome opportunity for me to transfer there and experience a different side of Peace Corps Cameroon. A side I am feeling pretty blessed I’ll now get to call home : )

5 things I am jumping out of my skin to have at my new post:

1)      WATER!!!!!  The couple weeks before I left were “August break” from rainy season with the sun out in full force and me remembering what my first 7 months at post were like. Stifling hot humidity that makes leaving the radius kept bearable by my fan overwhelming, and a constant search for water. Whole mornings spent trying to figure out how to get water to either flush your toilet, wash your dishes, or take a bucket bath, doesn’t exactly jump start your day! In my new place I’ll have a tap right in my house, and another outside – when I visited, and turned on the tap in the middle of the day, and water immediately rushed out, I could have cried. It is no understatement to say that reliable access to water is going to transform my daily life. I’ll be able to exercise when I want because I can bathe afterwards, if washing dishes is not a stretch I’ll do way more cooking (and trust me, I need the practice - I made the glaze for my going away, and I'll no longer end up trying to wash my hands with copious amounts of hand sanitizer because its the only liquid available.

But best of all, I got to donate the water tank I had invested in to my compound, and the women, who are respondible for washing dishes, laundry and floors everyday and feel the stress of the water crisis even more acutely than I do because they have big families, were overwhelmed with joy. It was such a magical feeling to know that their quality of life will be improved - I think it sweetened the sadness of my leaving for all of us.

2)      2) FRENCH! Oui, oui, my new town is just over the border into the Francophone part of the country, so ten months after having to swallow the pill of getting an Anglophone post when I’d been dreaming of using and improving my French, I am getting my wish : )

3)      FOOD! Nkongsamba has a daily market of fruits, veggies and even meat. Where I’ve been, finding fruit at all is hard, the selection of veggies is small, and most of the tomatoes look like they’ve been run over by a truck they’ve spent so much time bouncing around in one to make it to Saturday market. There will also be way more street food like grilled fish ad avocado/egg sandwiches, daily (I can go days without eating a single ounce of protein, so this is exciting!), and there is even a tiny grocery store where you can find…wait for it…European chocolate bars!! They also do great French bread here, have oatmeal, lettuce, cucumbers, Tic Tacs – I’m gonna go totally nuts!

4)      COOLER TEMPS! If you thought this deal could not get any sweeter, it’s also noticeably cooler than my home in Tombel, being a bit higher up. It’s beautiful too, surrounded by some small mountains, and with palm trees and other lush green jungle flora encroaching on all sides.

5)      TRAVEL! Even though it’s not far from where I am now, the leg I’ll be cutting out makes all the difference to being a manageable distance from some beautiful weekend destinations where there are awesome volunteers and possibilities for collaboration on projects like teaching women how to make and sell tofu out of super nutritious and impossibly cheap soy beans. I am closer to a paved road trafficked by buses heading to the main cities, the water, and the West, my new favorite area – pics below. Also, I no longer have to go through a transit point where the harassment from aggressive men scrambling to make money is nearly unbearable, so that will take a bite out of my residual stress index.

But lest you think I’m turning “Posh Corps”, I hope I can keep up some credibility that I'm toughing it : )  My new house is outrageously infested with cockroaches and also houses quite a few mice, the city is gritty and dirty and covered in mud and trash and rubble, and I'll still be coming up against quite an abrasive, offensive and condescending style of treatment as a woman and especially as a white woman and a foreigner. Rural or urban, water or none, this place can eat you alive if you don't leave the house wearing your protective armour of resiliency, patience, humor and poise! But I know the move is a good one for my life right now, and I can't wait to personalize my house, start some projects, and make the most of the rest of my months.

Here's a bit of what else has been going on the last few weeks and as I transition...

Last week my friend and moto driver took me on a detour adventure into the papaya and banana plantations that flank the road that leads out of my village. We walked all through the groves and came home with some delicious treats. Motorcycle rides along that road, especially in the early morning or at sunset, are stunning and a favorite pasttime of mine from life in Tombel. Yes, there are definitely things I'm going to miss!

The FANTASTIC principal at the local high school where I did several projects last year, sporting the shirt he just got made out of the Peace Corps' 50th Anniversary fabric that I gave him as a parting gift - quite dashing! Many of my most eye-opening and laugh-out-loud enjoyable cross-cultural conversations have been with him, and while I'll really miss our chats and collaboration, I know we'll be friends long after I leave.

The compound women outside my door (yep, it's pretty close quarters!) pounding foufou, the local staple. Won't miss it, sorry ladies, but I'll sure miss you!

The things that are finally working out and improving with my move prove that patience, positivity and prayers for clarity really can pay off! I made seveval of these signs with the art supplies my aunt sent me, and they really help calm my nerves. The quote is from a book of declarations for difficult times that my sister sent me (Transitions, by Julia Cameron) - it is the single most comforting and helpful volume I've ever had in my possession, and I am so grateful to have it!

Hiking down from Charmayne's house to get a motorcycle out of the village...from which I saw my first totally wild monkey running alongside the road (rampant poaching in the bush has actually made them pretty rare).

Is it any wonder I love travelling to other people's posts? The diversity in this country on every level keeps things constantly fresh and intriguing.

Awesome traditional ceremony I got to go to in my friend's village of Bapa in the West - the masks were wild!

Can't go around it, can't go under it...gotta go through it!



Last days at the health center I was working at - bringing posters and pancakes to give to the nurses.



The head nurse who gave me great support during my presentations, and had a song up her sleeve for every topic! Ex: "Balanced Diet, Balanced Diet! Rice and Beans! Rice and Beans! Eat them everyday, eat them everyday. Balanced Diet, Balanced Diet!" That one really had me trying not to laugh at its own contradictions...



I've seen many of these women at least monthly as they go through their pregancy and come in for consultations...we talk about nutrition, vaccinations for their infants, the functions and cycles of their reproductive system, the importance of breastfeeding, treating diarrhea, hygiene, and planning future pregnancies. Most of the women are unmarried, and most of their pregnancies are coming very soon after another childbirth or when they otherwise were not ready for a child.

The fact that I look at this baby of my neighbor's and still think "aww" is rediculous, considering how many times her screaming and wailing right outside my door and bedroom window have made me want to rip my hair out. Still, I will miss this whole family - just in 9 months all the little ones have grown up so much!

Sunset view from my compound in Tombel, one of several gorgeous local views I will miss.

I told my Health Club about the story of Rosa Parks during our discussion on role models (and nearly teared up telling them about how blacks like themselves fought for equality in our country). Then recently I found this picture in a magazine I had, with her story in simple and inspiring words. I gave it to my neighbor Edith - she is such a promising girl and I want her to have strong women to look up to.

The Quaker meeting I grew up attending recently sent several packages of books, toys, stickers, soccer balls, jump ropes...I brought some of the goodies to a local orphanage, and it was like Christmas in July for the kids. We had a blast finding songs we all knew from the hymnal they also included, and just had a really special evening - getting attention and any new playthings is such a treat for them. Thank you Durham Friends Meeting, and especially the Women's Society and my Aunt Nancy for getting this whole initiative together!

Just beaming.

This fellow read the entire book out loud to us beautifully - I was VERY impressed!

Isn't that what it's all about? : )

Coming up: Shocking before and after pictures of my new house, reflections on having been in Cameroon for ONE YEAR (...on September 18th), and what goodies you can send me for my upcoming 25th birthday!

Kinda forget what I'm doing? Recap - from the article I submitted to my Quaker meeting newsletter

Asinge, Friends! 

At just a few degrees above the equator, my Cameroonian village in West Africa can depend on at least one thing arriving with consistency –nightfall at 6:30. Water in the public taps, electricity, phone network, the long promised road repairs, teachers for the new school year – cross your fingers but don’t hold your breath. Electricity has been out for almost a week now, so today I traveled to charge my computer, only to find that riding over broken roads on motorcycles, jungle humidity that keeps clothes damp for a week,  or maybe lizard droppings, have gotten the best of my keyboard – this draft looks like code so may letters aren’t working! I’m typing by candlelight and have put out buckets to collect rain for my morning bath and dishes. My alarm clock will be the bustle of early morning village life – chickens, babies, wood-chopping, open-fire cooking, and neighbors yelling greetings to those trekking to their cocoa farms or hauling water.

It’s all part of the rollercoaster ride as I try and integrate into my community as a Peace Corps health volunteer - the first foreigner to have a presence here in 20 years. The learning curve has been more like a free fall as I get used to hearing “WHITEMAN” yelled as I pass by villagers still taken aback by my presence, keep my front door open despite my desire for privacy to respect the culture of openness, and play hardball with vendors and drivers who instantly quadruple their price with me– I joke that I’m from the Bamilike tribe, known for driving a hard bargain. 

My job, helping this community identify and address their health development needs, has been at once the most rewarding, exasperating, and eye-opening pool of experiences I’ve even been thrown head first into. I’m lucky that cultural exchange is part of our responsibility – I get to learn about their challenges (poor prices for their crops), frustrations (bad roads) and what brings them joy (singing!) as I pick up phrases in Bakossi and we make pancakes. The disempowering effects of political oppression, rampant systemic corruption and few opportunities have been upsetting to watch in action, but have also sparked unforgettable conversations with frustrated moto taxi drivers, high school students aching to study in America, and neighbors tired of seeing local needs ignored by those with power. 

As a health educator I get to work with students from nursery to high school, using games and demonstrations to teach everything from proper hand washing (difficult to promote when any water is hard to come by) to HIV awareness. I relish walking into classrooms and having all the students, in their blue and white uniforms, stand and greet me in unison, and always try and bring them a new song. They love “Amazing Grace”, and I just got to lead pre-schoolers in “This Little Light of Mine” for their parents!

Perhaps most moving of all has been teaching reproductive health to young women who are going through adolescence and womanhood without even basic information. The school curriculum includes no sexual education, though premature pregnancy and STD’s are major problems among youth. The first time I held a seminar for 7^th-9^th grade aged girls and put out a “Question Box” for their confidential matters, I could not hand out slips of paper fast enough for their outpouring of uncertainties. I cried reading them afterward, realizing I’d hit a serious nerve of need that I could actually respond to.  Helping them navigate pregnancy and child-rearing concerns, introducing the benefits of family planning, and sending the message that they can positively influence their own lives is a role I love. Doing so in the context of rampant need and the social and cultural complications I’ve been learning about for years is a dream come true.

Still, the going is slow and the heat, harassment and endless house malfunctions can make crawling out of bed utterly overwhelming. But thrilling moments make the headaches of trying to function where basic functioning often seems out of reach immediately worth it. Last weekend I saw my first delivery of a tiny baby girl, on a wooden bed with just a few basic instruments and one kerosene lantern in the room- breathtaking! Yesterday a nurse and I hosted the first session of a support group for HIV+ women that we are trying to launch – it has taken months to find even a few women willing to share their status with others. Talking about the free treatment available to these women, who have never had autonomy over so much as a dollar, let alone their own health, was powerful. 

One of the biggest surprises has been how and where Western influences have infiltrated daily life. Even those who live on dirt floors and without running water have cell phones, and everyone loves calling just to say hi! Many people dress in the flashy Western clothes available cheaply in the market, yet are still using pit latrine toilets and cooking over a fire…but in faux Gucci jeans and with their Lady Gaga ring tone sounding from a nearby rock. Beer companies’ hold is strong, but stronger still are the sorcery beliefs that are the assumed root of everything from unexplained deaths to higher than normal electricity bills. Daily life is often a chaotic and dizzying moshpit of tradition and modernity. 

The youth of the meeting may have their own views, but I can’t wait for the school year to begin. Kids have been the golden ticket to feeling at home here, and their adoring greetings (“Auntie Tasse, Auntie TASSE!”) and laughter on my porch as we draw and play cards always brighten my day. Mostly, I can’t wait until they return from their relatives’ holiday care so I can distribute the equipment and supplies you all sent through the Women’s Society.  I felt like a five-year old at Christmas opening those packages – what an amazing outpouring of childhood goodies that these kids have never known. My heartfelt thanks to you all – photos forthcoming!