I used this analogy when I'd been studying in Paris and went to visit my brother in London: Arriving in an English-speaking place felt like stepping onto a moving walkway at the airport; you've been getting by just fine, but suddenly you are simply gliding, sashaying along with so much less effort. Signs, announcements, and interactions are so relatively smooth - compared to having to constantly translate and expand energy to figure life out, everything now just flows.
Coming back to the US a couple weeks ago gave me an overwhelming sense of the same kind, but much more dramatic. It felt as if I'd been trying to walk up a downward moving escalator, and suddenly changed to the right direction and was whisked away with forward movement. Instantly everything was on my side and trying to help me succeed in making progress, not pushing back at every turn and making everything more difficult. Even in the airport the SIGNS telling me where to go and how to do things, empowering me and letting me be independent and productive, seemed impossibly organized and advanced. I could not believe my eyes when I saw a public water fountain - Free? Potable? WATER just given to us, that we can trust and just dip down and drink? When I walked into that first HUGE airport bathroom with its jets of soap, hot water, hot air and more working toilets than I've used in 16 months, I just gasped.
And when the PA system clearly announced that the next Airtrain into the city would be arriving in 3 minutes, then one minute, then had arrived, and then what the next stop would be, I think a very audible "Oh My GOD, are you KIDDING?!" escaped my lips. After waiting for three hours for the bus that was supposed to take me ( though you are never sure ) to Douala where the airport is (and while no one else seems the least bit phased and everyone is just sitting, doing nothing - no newspapers, no books, no crosswords, no knitting - as we pass the day away, again), I finally gently asked the ticket seller if he had any idea where the bus was or how close they were, and his exact very annoyed response was: "NO. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND STOP ASKING SO MANY QUESTIONS, MISS." One of my next blog posts will be dedicated entirely to transportation : )
Still, it took me a couple days of being back to realize that I could expect water to come out when I turned on a faucet and to remember that cars were going to stop at red lights, that I did not have to dart in front of oncoming traffic to cross the street. Not only were there trash cans (in bathrooms! in hotel rooms! at gas stations! so lovely and helpful ), but differentiated recycling options -- this seemed to mock that there is not even a basic system in the vast majority of Cameroon for removing trash, so all of it is littered, dumped behind houses, and covering the sides of streets where people just drop whatever trash they have on the ground or throw it out vehicle windows - so jarring, but what should they do?
And the beautiful wide sidewalks along the streets of Manhattan meant I could just WALK, and walk FAST to where I was going, with everyone else next to me clipping right along so PURPOSEFULLY to their destination, like they wanted to be going there, or at least felt they had a purpose in their task. So energizing to be around people who move and live like they mean it. I often end up walking behind individuals or groups in Cameroon where it’s as if someone has put a gun to their neck and said "when you get to where you're going, I'll shoot you". And sadly that's often about the vibe they are giving off too.
I stared in awe as city busses in Seattle picked up and buckled in handicapped passengers along the way - to think of how many ways in which this would be impossible in Cameroon was overwhelming. Who here would even have access to medical care that would get them a wheelchair? And what good would it do - the streets are a ragged mess of rubble, rocks, broken pavement if there is any, and people selling and leaving stuff all along the edge of the street - definitely no sidewalk for pedestrians of any kind. And if you had a smooth road to wheel down, how would you do anything else? The only handicapped ramp I've seen, at the hospital in my city, brings you right down to a three foot deep, two foot wide trench - the gutter - with no way to cross it except to jump.
The realization that in many parts of the US people can live independent, functional, successful lives being handicapped - that we are set up to fully accommodate people of so many different abilities and needs, was suddenly staggering. To say nothing of the fact that its socially acceptable!! In Cameroon most people with handicaps -especially mental ones - are stored away in back rooms of their houses by their families, who are so ashamed of them that they don't even want company to the house to know they are there. This is largely because people believe it is sorcery and witchcraft spells that lead to handicaps, so if your family is associated with that, others may stigmatize you or be afraid of you.
There were a handful of other white people on my flight from Douala to Brussels (and I was very taken aback to see them, as I rarely see non-Peace Corps whites). And then to my astonishment and delight, there seemed to be about the same number on my flight from Brussels to NYC, but of course this time there was no majority, just a mish mosh of every kind of person from every kind of place possible, a scenario so unlike any I've been in here that I was swept away with relief and appreciation.
To not be stared at and closely observed, or yelled at and called to because of your being a white woman, or sized up and regarded with a sense of tension/jealousy/amazement/ resentment/interest/intimidation/uncertainty - wow, how simple it was so go outside here and just BE! NYC was the most incredible point to enter the modern world in for the sheer contrast it provided on the levels of infrastructure and insane levels of human accomplishment, the BUZZ that keeps that place zooming with efficiency (people behind counters! and they have change when you buy something? and they've been trained to ask how they can help you?! and the ATM is not broken?!) and the diversity that I would just LOVE any of my Cameroonian friends to be able to witness as its pretty extraordinary coming from a place where if you are not black, you are clearly not from here.
I watched so many mothers and fathers attentively holding the hands of their children as they crossed the street, and hugging them or talking to them or playing with them in little ways like as they picked out food at the grocery store. This level of caring for individual children actually made me sad as I thought about how little individual or affectionate attention I see children receiving in Cameroon. Instead, children are already selling fruit or peanuts or bottles of gasoline along the side of the road by the time they are six, sprinting up to moving vehicles to beat their friends to the sale of some cola nuts, safety a very far thought, and guardians nowhere near. Because they are probably hand-washing the clothes or hand-peeling the seeds for a dinner soup to provide for the other six children - where is the time to give to the thoughtful development of each child? Family management and child discipline are done mostly through rough reprimands, and the system leaves so many cracks for small children to be left unattended, to eat things they should not, to hurt themselves. When I ask people when a child can be left at home alone, I usually hear "three years old"! So, babysitting is not a big student money-maker here like it was for me growing up...
Last night my nurse friend, who had stayed three hours late at the hospital to take care of some badly injured accident victims, even though the government has not paid the nurses in 29 months, came over to visit. She told me about the cases she had had that day, including two toddlers who had died, one because he drank bleach, another because he ingested toxic pesticide chemicals that had been left on the floor when a parent returned from the field. Tragic consequences of a society that does not allow for, or does not value, the type of coddling that help many US youngsters develop healthy bodies and bright minds because of the nurturing of their parents and caretakers.
By the way, my first meal (you know I'd been thinking about it for weeks!) was Thai, a blissful reunion with my cousin, brother, and now sister-in-law near Union Square. I had landed a few hours earlier, and they were all "How are you holding up?! That trip was so long!" In fact, I could not have felt any more gleeful or well-rested! "That whole trip was like a cruise! Hot water, three kinds of paper products and lotion in the working bathroom! MY OWN WHOLE SEAT! A personal TV with endless movie options? No yelling about the price, no babies on my lap, no window crank jabbing into my side? Drinks other than beer or fruit soda! And wow, airplane food has definitely gone gourmet. That.Was.So luxurious."

























































