Behind the scenes: Recent fumblings with Cameroonian culture, Part 1

October 2, 2012

I was in the principal’s office today of the high school where I ran a health club last year, and was once again stunned at how many things were going on simultaneously. His office can accommodate many people and feels more like Grand Central Station then a place to discuss things in full, or in private.  Undivided attention is the opposite of what I ever get in these situations –we were in the middle of a serious discussion about why I was not launching the club again (blatant sexual harassment from the teacher involved – far from concerned, the principal, confused,  asked what the teacher was supposed to do if he liked me?;  too many school days cancelled without notice;  general disorder in the class schedule and time slots), meanwhile teachers and secretaries and parents and visitors and other administrators are marching in and starting to talk right over me as if I’m not there, explaining another issue, something he needs to sign  or give his take on, or make a decision about. They just disrupt the conversation full on with no semblance or an “excuse me, but” -this is common everywhere here and not considered the least bit rude, or inefficient. Instead of “deal with things one at a time, do this, then move on,  let me finish with A then I’ll get to B", it’s a “throw the whole alphabet at me like a deck of cards, and we’ll sort it all out eventually” approach.

I remember watching absurd cross-cultural videos in school where this phenomenon was shown in international meeting settings – the person holding the meeting juggling 15 demands simultaneously – but I was sure they were exaggerating! Where Americans would follow a first-come, first served order at various offices, buying tickets, or giving audience, here the client already inside starts their exchange, then waits, as the person taking visitors, patients, customers etc. cuts them off to respond to the next person streaming in and posing his problem right on top of yours. Suddenly your inquiry is getting buried further and further down in the stack of what the boss is looking at. I always want to yell judgmentally, “Ummm, I was here first, they are with ME right now, can’t you see?!?!? WAIT YOUR TURN!”  I end up feeling  so choppy in my own thoughts and get fed up piecing together tin ten second spurts he conversation I needed to have.  

The principal wanted me to stay and talk about US culture with him, but I declined, trying not to laugh, what a futile environment in which to have a real conversation! In this extraordinarily top-down power structure culture, he was probably offended, and others were probably shocked that I was talking to him rather like an equal, colleague to colleague, respectable person to respectable person. Including being direct about the fact that I was not doing health club this year.  I had to emphasize the finality of that decision, and when I explained that I didn’t want to set up false expectations only to disappoint him later, he said he appreciated that approach, but that it is extremely rare and even off-putting here.  

Passively letting people down left and right is the cultural approach to the reality that most things just don't work out. Sure, we’ll do it, we’ll go, we’ll organize that….then, nothing. You play like whatever the other person asks of you can and will happen, even if you know the chances are slim to none, just to save face and avoid conflict. It’s a show, both sides know it, then 90% of the time the planned idea just fades away, you don’t show up again and they never call to ask where you are, as they never expected anything. It’s that “we should get lunch…” phenomenon, but with actual work partnerships like agreeing coming to visit a health center, do a presentation, show up for a meeting, design a new resource, teach an English class over the summer. The ownership is on you, but if you don’t others just let it fall off, fall apart, not happen like the million other things they have seen not happen.  

The subconscious assumption was always that one of a million things would come along that prevents it from being feasible – it was pouring rain so I could not leave the house, the phone network was down and I could not get through, my aunt died and I had to return to the village, the kids got sick and I spent all my money on medicine, the printer in town is still broken, my phone broke and I lost my numbers, the firewood was wet so cooking dinner took too long, the bus broke down for 7 hours. And those setbacks are real, and get in the way ALL THE TIME. Whatever plans, big or small, do come through, it’s a big deal. I’ve had days where I have meetings arranged at 3,4,5 and 6PM, and not a single one shows, or calls. C’est la vie.   

His surprise at my declaring that the health club would not be feasible this year (as opposed to implying that I would try, then just not coming, and letting it fall apart without ackowledging that it was) reminded me of trying to fundraise for the camp this past spring. I went around to local businesses and officials in town, and can't count how many people told me they might give, to come back next time…no one wanted to give a blunt no, even where that would have been SO helpful, and even when they knew they would not be giving.  I didn’t realize that, and wasted whole days going back again and again just to be turned around and toyed with that it might come through.

So I can understand that all the families of my A2 scholarship recipients were shocked that the scholarships actually got paid, in full, and on time. The girls told me that not one of their parents expected anything to come of the their supposedly being selected. Imagine winning a formal scholarship competition and thinking “Yeeeah, I’ll believe it when I see it”.  Makes me proud that we actually were able to come through, they need examples of that in their lives.